How to catch a cheating wife texting

I couldn't do anything but want to work things out because I had just gotten her back and wasn't ready for things to end. She made a degree change after for the better and has shown me that she was sorry and loves me and would never do anything like that again. It has been 7 months and still to this day, I can't seem to forget about it and I feel like its preventing me from moving on with her. Things will be good for a couple of weeks and then something will happen or I'll see something that reminds me of what she did and it just brings me back to the situation and how much it hurt me.

Still to this day there has been a lingering unhappiness that I just can't get over because of what she has done and I do not know what to do with myself! I wish I could just get over it so I can move on with this girl and my life! She has done everything she possibly can to show she is sorry and to make things better.

Although I do want to move on with this girl I'm not most concerned with that. Advice would be greatly appreciated.. I have been having way too many sleepless nights.. By the way.. My girlfriend and I are both in college.. I'm 20 going on 21 and she's Going on Ask the community cheating, trust.


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They have been texting behind my back, talking long hours on the phone. He gave her a new phone after her phone broke, I kept my mouth shut after I found out that they are getting to close to each other, but one day after I refused having sex with her, that I feel insecure and she better explains to me what is going on. She said that she will stop talking to him and texting him , but it was not my point , my point was whether i should trust you or not anymore.

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I know it sounds stupid but I'm the kind of persons who never trust after they have been fooled once! I asked her what have you been guys talking about , and her answer was " we talk about stupid stuff " , I said " if me and you talk about stupid stuff for more than 20 minutes , you will be bored and want to do something fun instead ". I decided to leave her which i did for a couple months now , and never come back until she or he shows me what was the content of the text messages , otherwise there is no way that i go back with her! Trust is not a game , she arranged a phone conference with me and the guy , he said that he does not keep his text messages and only the president of the United states can restore them and there was nothing going on between him and my wife anyway!!!

What I was not aware of is that this has been going on for all 36 years of our marriage. I have confronted her on several occasions and never have received a straight answer. Several months ago, she decided to tell me everything. Way more than I wanted to hear. She informed me that she started the affairs a few weeks after we got married, and has continued until several months ago. I asked her why, and she told me I could not give her what she really wanted. She said I have a small penis. When asked why she didn't tell me when she decided to have her first affair, she said she enjoyed the thrill of sneaking around.

Needless to say, I have been devastated over this. She tells me she still loves me, and doesn't want to end our marriage. How do I proceed? I'm at a total loss, can't sleep, barely eat, and I dropped from lbs to lbs.

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It eats on me constantly, and has left me unable to focus on the things in my life that are important. Recently she was facing some problems at work and was clearly stressed and anxious about her future. As someone who helps many friends I offered to help her with this issue. We resolved the issue over a two week period and got to know each other much better.

Soon the phone calls became marathon sessions of up to 6 hours at a time, just talking as friends and being very open about our lives, loves lost and gained, and our general history. She is also going through another small issue for which I lend an ear to vent into. It became clear that she had faced some significant challenges in her early life which led her to join the military as soon as she could leave home.

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I found her strength of character, intelligence and sense of humor fairly intoxicating but as she had shown no interest, left it alone. Later she hinted at an interest but not wanting to damage a friendship by making a mistake I have continued to leave things as they are. I have been described as unusual for a guy in that I have strong feelings about the importance of trust and respect in relationships and never betraying someone by being unfaithful. I would rather end a relationship on a basis of mutual respect than cause someone pain just because of an inability to face up to issues.

In a recent call she dropped some bombs well to me they were bombs about several relationships she had with married men all military and mostly while on deployment.

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She said that she was attracted to these men and they to her and that in the military it's basically accepted that if you are away from home and mentally stable, you can be unfaithful and it's no problem. She said that each time both parties were just having sex and that no 'relationship' was created or intended. She also talked about being completely comfortable with using guys just for sex. She is still Facebook friends with all these men.

I can safely say that many men I know would love to have a sex only relationship such as those she engaged in. Everyone has a past of some kind and my attitude to people's past relationships is generally that the past is the past but in this case, her flippant attitude towards the fact that these men were betraying wives that loved and supported them, and trusted them to be faithful and not bring home an STD threw me completely. In fact it makes my stomach turn. She has also mentioned married guys hitting on her recently and her main reason for not jumping them was because they were not attractive, not because they were married You often hear people say 'Don't judge' and I am trying to resolve in my own head if I am wrong to not understand how a person that has been betrayed herself, is clearly intelligent, confident and driven, could care so little about others.

I have also wondered if in fact she does feel bad about these 'non-relationships' and laughs them off to avoid talking about them and it just comes across as cold, or that perhaps she is simply a deeply selfish person I should avoid. So now my first instinct is to withdraw and not have anything more to do with her because it seems to me that it requires a significant level of detachment and lack of empathy to sleep with married men and not have any concerns for the potential destruction to an innocent person's life.

I'd be interested to know if I'm overreacting or simply missing the plot here and that in this day and age it's considered ok to be unfaithful or that it's bad for the man but understandable and not so bad if a woman knowingly helps a man betray his wife because I need decide whether to continue holding out the hand of friendship or to simply cut her off entirely. Feel free to be as blunt as you want as I'm not the sensitive type, just looking for answers. We agreed on meeting but now he's saying things to me like "i miss uou" "i want to be with you" "i cant wait to see you" i dont know what to think.

He recently broke up with his gf or thats what he said. The thing is that he hurt me , he left me pregnant and went with another woman and i thought i was really over him but now im confused. Is it worth it giving a try or should i just move on?


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User article trust, cheating, parenting apart. She neglected me in the past and went out lots without me.

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We argued and she removed her wedding ring and would not let me into the bed for many months and had her Friday nights out with the girls and the very odd weekend away with the girls. Therapist visits are expensive and a lower middle class family cannot afford it.


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  4. If you can somehow help her with information or an in depth article on relationship issues and how to deal with it, I'm sure it would help her and millions of maybe other women who can relate to their own story. One day she caught her husband of 26 years cheating on her.

    He had been seeing the other woman for past 2 years and exchanging sexual messages and spending time together alone with the other woman. He was having sexual relationship with the other woman and also constantly sexting with her for past 2 years. My friends whole world crashed. She could not accept it.

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    Her husband was her ideal, someone she cherished and looked upon always. He was her strength. She could not bear the pain and hurt and would cry for hours locking herself in the toilet. She wanted to leave her husband but could not do so thinking of her kids. Now every time she looks at his face she cannot find the man she once loved.

    It was as if he was a stranger. She felt let down. The day she caught him cheating was a tragic day. She was running a very high fever, so he lovingly took her to the doctor, gave her medicine and put her to bed and then went to meet the other woman saying he was going for a prayer meet.