Few people enter into a relationship with the express intention of committing infidelity. However, the harrowing truth is that cheating is definitely a reality for far too many couples. In fact, approximately 16 percent of married women and men admit to having been unfaithful, according to a report from the Institute for Family Studies.
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So, what can you do to avoid having your heart broken? Well, the first step is learning the signs that your partner is at least thinking about cheating on you.
For instance, you'll want to be careful if they're getting overly curious about when you'll be home. And if they ever ask you about your thoughts on cheating, then you know infidelity is on their mind.
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Here are 33 tips from relationship experts on some common things people will say if they want to cheat or if they already are. And if you're worried that your relationship is falling apart in ways that aren't obvious signs of cheating, try these 50 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Fresh. If your partner ever says something like this, then you should consider that it's something they're genuinely thinking about doing, or at least that they're not happy in the relationship currently.
And it's not just a new haircut you should be on the lookout for. Any big changes in appearance, like " losing weight , buying new clothes, or starting to wear makeup more often," could be subtle signs of cheating, according to Bennett. A person in a committed relationship should be able to tell you where their partner is when they aren't with them. However, someone who's on the verge of cheating intentionally or otherwise will stop checking in with their spouse or significant other, if only to try to forget that they have one in the first place.
And for ways to tell that your marriage or relationship is beyond repair, read up on the 20 Surefire Signs Your Relationship Is Over. Your partner used to text you every hour on the hour, but now they're using "too much work" as an excuse to be MIA all day. If this sounds familiar, then be careful: It could be one of the red flags that infidelity is on the horizon.
Even if your spouse hasn't ever considered cheating before, a promotion at work that offers them opportunities to travel could mean trouble in paradise. Unfortunately, disposable income combined with work travel makes cheating convenient. Of course, this doesn't apply to cheating in the traditional sense, but refers more to emotional cheating or overstepping the boundary between friendship and something more. If you want your partner to stay faithful, it is essential that you sit down with them and clarify precisely what "cheating" entails. Some spouses just want to know when their husband or wife is coming home because they miss them and can't wait to see them.
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Less honorable spouses, however, could be checking in because they want to know how much time they have to sneak around, or to explore the idea of being with someone else through dating apps or online chat rooms. If your significant other is looking to spice things up in the bedroom , it could be an indication that they find the current situation to be lackluster and unsatisfactory. And while it's good that they're still trying to salvage the relationship you have, this could also be a sign that your partner is considering finding satisfaction elsewhere.
Again, your partner trying new things in bed isn't necessarily a bad thing. But if they're suddenly showing up in the bedroom with moves you've never seen before, you may want to question what—or who—is giving them these ideas. A person's insecurities can interfere with their relationships in many major ways.
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Not only will an insecure person question whether they're worthy of being in a relationship and create problems that don't exist, but often times they will also seek validation in other places, including by cheating. It's hard to be in a healthy relationship when your inner thoughts are constantly telling you that you're too fat or too ugly to be loved by someone, let alone someone as incredible as your significant other. And when someone is too insecure to love their body, they might seek external affirmation—and not only from their partner. It's easy—and natural! However, if you don't make an effort to change it up every once in a while, your partner might lose interest in the relationship altogether and instead try to find someone who will take them out on the town.
If you're trying to plan a vacation a few months in advance but your partner keeps putting it off with one excuse after another, this might be a sign that they're starting to see a future with someone else. When someone is unhappy in their current situation, they will avoid making plans or even talking about the long term, since for them any plans would just prolong the inevitable breakup and get in the way of their new life and relationship.
Take note of whether your significant other is using the word "I" or "we" when they talk about the future. You come home from work with flowers and chocolates for your significant other —but instead of reacting with excitement and gratitude, they act like you just brought home a box of deadly spiders.
This could be because your spouse isn't emotionally invested in the relationship, and so the last thing they want is for you to be nice to them. In their mind, the meaner you are, the easier it is for them to justify their actions. When a person begins to lose interest in their relationship, they may look for thrill and adventure in other areas of their life before they decide to venture into the uncharted territories of infidelity. If your parter starts hinting at trying crazy, adventurous activities that they've never mentioned before like skydiving or extreme rock-climbing , this could be an indication that the relationship isn't providing them with the stimulation they crave.
Strange as it may seem, affairs have a lot to teach us about marriage—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They reveal our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment—attitudes that have changed dramatically over the past years. A ffairs are not what they used to be because marriage is not what it used to be.
For much of history, and in many parts of the world today, marriage was a pragmatic alliance that ensured economic stability and social cohesion. A child of immigrants, Priya surely has relatives whose marital options were limited at best. For her and Colin, however, as for most modern Western couples, marriage is no longer an economic enterprise but rather a companionate one—a free-choice engagement between two individuals, based not on duty and obligation but on love and affection.
Never before have our expectations of marriage taken on such epic proportions. We still want everything the traditional family was meant to provide—security, respectability, property, and children—but now we also want our partner to love us, to desire us, to be interested in us. We should be best friends and trusted confidants, and passionate lovers to boot.
Contained within the small circle of the wedding band are vastly contradictory ideals.
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We want our chosen one to offer stability, safety, predictability, and dependability. And we want that very same person to supply awe, mystery, adventure, and risk. We expect comfort and edge, familiarity and novelty, continuity and surprise. We have conjured up a new Olympus, where love will remain unconditional, intimacy enthralling, and sex oh so exciting, with one person, for the long haul.
And the long haul keeps getting longer. We also live in an age of entitlement; personal fulfillment, we believe, is our due.
In the West, sex is a right linked to our individuality, our self-actualization, and our freedom. Thus, most of us now arrive at the altar after years of sexual nomadism. We used to get married and have sex for the first time. Now we get married and stop having sex with others. The conscious choice we make to rein in our sexual freedom is a testament to the seriousness of our commitment. I can stop looking. At so many weddings, starry-eyed dreamers recite a list of vows, swearing to be everything to each other, from soul mate to lover to teacher to therapist.
I will not only celebrate your triumphs, I will love you all the more for your failures. In such a blissful partnership, why would we ever stray? And yet, it does. Infidelity happens in bad marriages and in good marriages. It happens even in open relationships where extramarital sex is carefully negotiated beforehand. The freedom to leave or divorce has not made cheating obsolete. So why do people cheat? And why do happy people cheat? She vaunts the merits of her conjugal life, and assures me that Colin is everything she always dreamed of in a husband. Clearly she subscribes to the conventional wisdom when it comes to affairs—that diversions happen only when something is missing in the marriage.
If you have everything you need at home—as modern marriage promises—you should have no reason to go elsewhere.
Why Happy People Cheat - The Atlantic
Hence, infidelity must be a symptom of a relationship gone awry. The symptom theory has several problems. First, it reinforces the idea that there is such a thing as a perfect marriage that will inoculate us against wanderlust. But our new marital ideal has not curbed the number of men and women who wander. In fact, in a cruel twist of fate, it is precisely the expectation of domestic bliss that may set us up for infidelity. Once, we strayed because marriage was not supposed to deliver love and passion.